I want to communicate appealingly.
Loss of eye contact, disinterest reflected from the eyes, subtle grimace in their facial expressions, repeats of “sorry, I lost you,”, these are signs of waning interest in my conversation. Some of these knaves are best friends, close buddies and family members. It almost became acceptable. This is wrong! Though everyone has this moment once or twice in a while, this is not a satisfactory excuse. The fault may lie with the issue being discussed, but my bet is on the style of communicating.
My interpretation of conversation changes at different stages of my life with the accumulation of experiences. Until recently, it finally hit me that a conversation only works when there is listening by all parties involved. Listening, not just hearing. In every conversation I had, my topic is always of utmost importance. I’m still struggling to change this vile habit.Let me just be selfish once more and expound on my theory of the art of conversing. (I do feel like a professional now.) There is homework to do. The likes and dislikes, the “current affairs” of mutual friends (Celebrities included.) and of that friend whom we are chatting to, these facts must be at our fingertips. What happens if we face a stranger? There is no taboo topic. However, a neutral stand is required. We don’t want to offend. For non-supporters of utmost diplomacy can pursue the less rigorous version – convincing instead of enforcing. Choice of words and tone affects the pleasure one gets from a conversation. Our goal is to ensure that there is a second conversation, unless yours is otherwise. There is definitely more that these to an appealing conversation; I’m still searching.
6 comments:
Hey, I agree entirely. At times I find it difficult to maintain or even establish a conversation with someone due to the lack of topics to talk about. Also this problem can be due to the reason that we may have a bad impression on that person thus not wanting the conversation to drag on for too long. Eye contact with a person can be difficult for me because at times when a person is talking, I'm not sure where to look at or what expression to give. Maybe I'm shy when it comes to such things that's why I can't hold someone's eye contact for long.
I agree that it is rather easy to lose concentration or interest in a conversation because it happened to me a number of times. I feel that this is probably due to the different interests or the style of communication like what you have mentioned. I feel bad when I get distracted in a conversation so I guess I have to work on my conversational skills too.
I agree with you that when making a conversation, our goal is to ensure that there is a second conversation, or even to keep the conversation going. Also, like you have said, the style of communicating is more important than the topic discussed. We may discuss something unimportant with our friends but we have a good time. On the other hand, we may discuss something important with our project members but we may have a hard time due to the wrong style of communication used.
... losing conversion topics perhaps is not just you alone... may be due to the lack of topics to continue from the other person as well?
Hi..
I agree with the issue of having a neutral stand when conversing with strangers. I guess it is really important as some may get offended and we will just very much lose that important second conversation. Besides, I guess trying to find that neutral ground could be of some difficulty and sometimes having a neutral ground can be interpretated differently by others as well.
An interesting and thought-provoking blog. However, there are parts where I was lost for a while - eg. "There is homework to do. The likes and dislikes, the “current affairs” of mutual friends (Celebrities included.) and of that friend whom we are chatting to, these facts must be at our fingertips." I had to re-read this sentence before I understood that "homework" actually refers to your knowledge of the topic for the conversation. You need to rephrase the sentence in order to communicate your ideas effectively across! Another sentence that stumped me is this, "For non-supporters of utmost diplomacy can pursue the less rigorous version – convincing instead of enforcing." Don't you mean supporters rather than “non-supporters”? Also, why do you say there is "no taboo topic" with strangers? In fact with strangers, there are more topics that you would never discuss, eg. salary, age, etc.
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